Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
