I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Do you still have your period?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
