how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
