it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
