I bet he comes in French.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Drunk is not a location!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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