White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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