How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
