Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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