I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
