I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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