i think my tv is drunk
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
