It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
