hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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