David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We have started to decorate penises.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
