He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
