Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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