If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
