she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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