He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Randomize
