Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
