I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
