I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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