eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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