Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
