.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
