I don't usually arrange sex via text message
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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