LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
