I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
