Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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