The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
