but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
high people should be assigned attendants
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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