I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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