He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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