Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
