I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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