the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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