Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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