I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
