i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
