Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
