Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
