Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
