Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
