I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she smelled like a LAN party
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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