before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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