First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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