You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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