We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
