dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
