i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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