Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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