Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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